A young poet came to the magazine editorial office and said to the editor:

- I'm sorry! I made a mistake and sent you the foodstuff bill instead of my poem.

- I thought it was a poem in modernistic language and sent it to the printing house - replied the editor.

Two women neighbours are talking.
"Mary, what's wrong with you? Are you ill? I saw the doctor coming out of your house twice last week."
"So what? I saw an officier coming out of your house five times last week but I'm not saying that a war has broken." 

A stranger on horse came to a river with which he was unfamiliar. The traveller asked a youngster if it was deep.

"No", replied the boy, and the rider started to cross, but soon found that he and his horse had to swim for their lives.
When the traveller reached the other side, he turned and shouted: 
"I thought you said it isn't deep?"...

A mother took her little boy to church. While in the church the little boy said: "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word "pee" in church. From now on when you have to "pee" just tell me that you have tho whisper."

STRESS is when the wife is pregnant.
TENSION is when the girlfriend is pregnant.
PANIC is when both are pregnant.